Christmas 2011

"It's the most wonderful time of the year!"   I would have to agree!  I just love the family time, the laughs, the look on Bryce's face when she opens her presents from Santa.  I just can't get enough!  Christmas for our little family is very busy!  We start on Christmas Eve at my grandma Rogers' house and have dinner and open presents there.  We started a little earlier this year since we had to leave earlier to get B to church for her first Christmas Eve service.  I love going to my grandma's.  It something I have always done and Christmas wouldn't be the same without it! 

After my grandma and grandpa Rogers', we headed to church with my parents and brother (Matt) for Bryce's first Christmas Eve program.  She was so excited and practiced her songs all week!  I was a little nervous that she wouldn't do that great due to not having a nap and it being so close to bedtime... She did AWESOME!!  She sang so great and recited more lines than I thought she would.  She adores Mr. Luke (her Sunday School teacher) and I think that had A LOT do with her doing so well. :) 

The pictures are not the best.  It was hard to get good lighting in church.

After Church, we headed over to Grandpa Banick's for some more family time and presents.  I forgot to bring some "jammies" for Bryce and her cousins had changed into their "jammies", so thank goodness that Great Gramma/Grampa Rogers' gave her a new pair!  She is so darn cute in "jammies"!

She had a blast playing with her cousins and being a "wild child" at grandpa's house.

Kyle's sister, Carrie made books about Patsy's (Kyle's mom) life.  It was very neat to see all the old pictures and see how much Kyle resembles his mom. (But she had hair! :))

After Grandpa Banick's, we headed home to get Bryce to bed before Santa came.  She surprisingly went to bed pretty easy.  We needed to go to the 8:15 church service to fit everything in that day, so we had to wake Bryce up around 7.  She was so surprised to see all her gifts!

After church, we headed to my parents.  If you want to see LOTS of gifts spend Christmas morning at my parents! :)

Then we drive south to Oxford, Kansas for the Hamilton side.  Bryce was "wild child" again, but we had a blast!

New Year's Resolutions Time!

I've been thinking a lot about the new year and want I want/need to change.  Here is my rough draft. :)  I may tweak it a bit before the 1st!

Lee Ann's Resolutions:
1. Run at least 3 times a week with Saturday or Sunday being my long run (I just need to be more consistent!)
2. Before going to bed and before leaving in the morning, making sure the house is clean and picked up. (This will definantly help with those last minute house showings!)

Family Resolutions:
1. Eat more vegetables (Green ones especially!)
2. Drink MORE water!

Running Goals for 2012:
*Run the Johnston's Half Marathon in April in less than 2:11!
*Run the MOPS Half Marathon in August in less than 1:58!
*Run the Prarie Fire Marathon in less than 5 hours!

Let's get this new year started!!

I feel very blessed....

to have A LOT of great people in my life!

 After my last blog, I have received many messages, gifts, love and prayers.  All were unexpected, but I am very thankful and  I wish I could repay all of you!  I'm not the type of person who likes to receive something without giving back, so this is all so weird to me.  I don't know how to actually deal with it.  :)  After you go through a tough time, you really find out who really matters to you and who you matter to.  I am so lucky to work with a couple awesome girls (who "pretend" to have no clue what I'm talking about!) and some AMAZING women I sweat with.  Without all of you, I don't know what I would do!  

 

THANK YOU TO MY SECRET SANTAS!!!

THANK YOU TO TONYA AND THE MMF FAMILY!!!

THANK YOU TO CANDACE, THERESA, AND KRISTEN H.!!!

THANK YOU TO KRISTIN W.!!!

I love all of you and need you to know that I truly am grateful and blessed to have you in my life!

New from Bryce!

A few things Bryce has said lately:"Horton Whos a Hear"
"Mama, you're my favorite....with your head off!"  Who knows!!

Games she's playing these days:
I have to be "Pastor" and she is "LeeAnn" and she talks like this while playing around the house.  If I call her Bryce, she says "No, I'm YeeAnn!"

Driving cars around while yelling at Alajiah, Treydon and Tayjiah in the cars. :)

She colors CONSTANTLY!  And most times I'm not allowed to color with her and if I get to, she colors my picture too!

It's beginning to be look a lot like Christmas....

I love Christmas time! 
(It's kind of a shame that things aren't going the greatest during this wonderful time...)

Bryce and I headed to Cowtown for their Victorian Christmas.  We had so much fun!  We listened to Christmas carols in the church, colored a snowman ornament in the Kids Emporium, rode the horse wagaon, and talked to many Cowtown people.  I love these times I get to spend with her, just the two of us.

Listening to Christmas carols in the church.

Saying "hi!" to Rosie the cow.

Coloring her snowman ornament

Looking inside the Bank.

We love Cowtown (especially during Christmas!)

After Cowtown, we picked up daddy and went to look at Christmas lights in College Hill.  We popped popcorn and made hot cocoa and ate/drank while we admired all the great light displays.  I wish every neighborhood would decorate for Christmas!  Wouldn't that be great??

Only 14 more days until Christmas! Do you want to know a secret?  I really haven't even started my shopping.  We've picked up presents for B here and there but that is it.  We are going through some financial problems with our house not selling yet, my surgery bills and everything else going on in our crazy life, so shopping doesn't sound great right now.  But on a positive note, my flex spending check came in the mail yesterday!  We definantly needed that!  Too bad that money can't really help with buying presents, but it's still a blessing!  I just need to trust that God will provide and get us through this time. 

I hope you are all enjoying this wonderful Christmas time!

Am I not meant to be a mom?

All I've ever wanted was to be a mom (Except for that brief time after watching the giving birth video in high school, but even then I wanted to adopt.)  I always thought that I would have at least 4 kids.  Well my plan is not meant to be, I guess.  Our "having kids journey" has been very rough on me.

It all started after Kyle and I got married.  I wanted to start having kids right away.  Kyle was a little less excited and didn't want to give up his "immature ways." (Which I think he still hasn't given up!)  The spring after we got married, I took a pregnancy test for fun and it had 2 lines.  I was so excited and couldn't wait to have a baby, but I ended up having a miscarriage the next week.  I know I wasn't even over a month pregnant, but it hurt a lot.  I was in bed for a couple days and I was really depressed.  We kept trying, but we never got pregnant.  My OBGYN got a little worried so he started doing tests on me to see if everything was okay.  All my tests turned out alright, so he sent Kyle to a urologist to get himself checked out.  Well long story short, Kyle ended up having surgery to (hopefully) fix the problem.  After the surgery, his doctor told us that we should have no problem getting pregnant.  I didn't want to wait so we were referred to The Center of Reproductive Medicine in the fall of 2007.  We started the process of IUI.  After the first try we got pregnant with Bryce (even though the day of the IUI my nurse said we probably wouldn't get pregnant with the numbers).  I love Bryce with all my heart and I am so grateful to have her in my life and would do anything for her.  I hope I don't sound greedy, but I just want more babies to love and take care of and would love Bryce to have siblings that she could play with and talk to.

Last Fall, we went back to the Center of Reproductive Medicine to try again.  We weren't able to get pregnant on our own since after Bryce was born.  We tried IUI again with Clomid this time and it didn't work.  This was really hard since it was so easy to get pregnant the first time.  We weren't able to try again due to the financial costs of everything. 

This Fall, we went back to try again.  The initial meeting with the doctor I was told that if I were his daughter the only thing he would recommend for me is in-vitro.  He let me go ahead and try IUI and we hoped for the best.  This was very hard for me to hear.  IUI was already too expensive for us that I couldn't imagine us being able to pay for in-vitro.  We went ahead with the IUI and after my first sonogram I was hit with another big blow.  I had two big cysts on my right ovary and the doctor was concerned.  I went back and had another sonogram the next month and they were still there and bigger.  The doctor scheduled me to have surgery to remove the cysts.  He told me there was no reason to do the IUI since the cysts would deter me from getting pregnant.  I was very scared.  I've never had surgery before and was told that there was a chance that they might have to take the ovary.  Well, everything went okay and I was told that I have a beautiful uterus (which I guess is not going to be used to house babies...).  After the surgery we started the process of IUI again, I had to take a week's worth of Clomid and a trigger shot before the IUI.  Well, it didn't work again.  After all the time and money and nothing.  I am so sad right now and I can't figure out why I'm not meant to be a mom.  Am I a bad person?  Am I not a good mom?  Am I being punished for things I've done?  I know that God is in charge and that what is meant to be is meant to be, but it's just hard.  It is so easy for some people to get pregnant and it's even a surprise for some people.  (Which Kyle tells me all the time not to compare myself to others. But I can't help it.)  We plan and plan and nothing works.  And now since I was so selfish to have another kid, I have ruined our Christmas.  We have to pay so much money for this process and none of it is covered by my insurance.  I guess insurance doesn't think me having children is necessary either. 
I will continue to love Bryce with all my heart and try to give her the best life that I can offer, but I still have a piece of me that is empty and I don't think I'll ever stop wanting more kids.  And telling me that "it will happen" and "when the time is right" makes it worse, so please don't tell me these lies.  I didn't write the blog to get sympathy or people to talk to me about this.  I wrote this to let people know what is going on.  I love Kyle whole-heartedly and he has done nothing wrong during any of this. I don't think I could have gotten through it without him.  Please don't think that anything is wrong with "us".  It's all me.  I'm just not meant to be a mom to more than once, I guess.

Seeing Santa

Last night, we took Bryce to see Santa at "Lights on the Lake" at Heartsprings.  She wasn't scared at all.  She sat on his lap and told him she wants "princesses and babies" and Santa kept waiting for her to say more. :)  Afterwards, we checked out the awesome light display they had there.  Bryce loved them! 

After dinner, we headed over to Bradley Fair to ride the horse-drawn carriages. When we got there the line was super short and we got right onto the wagon. (We would have had to wait a little longer for the carriage. Thank goodness Bryce isn't picky!) She loved this as well!! 

I think this turned out to be the perfect night! 

We are ready for Christmas!

HAPPY THANKSGIVING, new doggies and Christmas decorations

This Banick family had a great Thanksgiving! We got to eat 3 Thanksgiving meals and see both our families. YUM! My twin, Clint even came home for the first time in a LONG time and he brought his girlfriend. I didn't get many pictures because my batteries died.

My parents got a new dog, Max before Thanksgiving. He is a cutie and so sweet!  He loves to play fetch and does it for a LONG time.

And my little brother, Matt also recently got a new puppy, Kameron (or Kam for short). He is also a cutie!!

Tonight, Bryce and I put up the tree and the Christmas decorations.  She loves it all!  Her face was lit up the whole time!  She did an awesome job of putting the ornaments on the tree WITHOUT my help.  She is so excited for Christmas and to celebrate Jesus' birthday!

Currently

Currently, I'm:

Listening-to Bryce tell a story about an ant biting her nose. :)

Loving-Bryce and her crazy stories and the Fall weather!

Thinking-about all the stuff I need to get at Michael's and Hobby Lobby to make all the Fall/Christmas crafts for Bryce and I to make soon.

Wanting- a housekeeper so I don't have to clean the house today! :)

Needing-to go start the laundry before it gets too late to finish it!

Stalking-
http://mrsjumpsclass.blogspot.com/
http://lifeinfirstgrade1.blogspot.com/
(These are my favorite first grade idea blogs right now!!)

Have a great Saturday!

Bryce's first time Trick or Treating

Bryce was so excited to go trick or treating!  She ran around like a crazy kid until it was time to go!  (This could have also been because she didn't take a nap that day too.  Thanks Kimmy!)  We stopped by WBC to pick up Kyle and eat some pizza.  Next, we had to swing by church and show off Bryce's costume to Grandpa Banick and then we headed to my parents' to do some trick or treating.  We just went to maybe 8 houses since we started so late and she LOVED it.  All of it, BUT the spider near the spider web!  The owners of the house asked her if she wanted to "wake" the spider or let him sleep and she answered with a very quiet, scared "Let him sleep." :)  It was a fun Halloween night!

Random Thursday Thoughts

*I'm starting to disline Facebook, but I love Pinterest!

*What is going on with my children lately (school and home children!)??  I know Halloween just happened, but shouldn't we be back to normal already!

*I love Bryce more and more each day (if that is even possible!) She does the cutest, funniest things and she keeps a smile on my face!

*I heard today that Christmas is only 8 weeks away,,,AHHH!!

Well, it's time to go do some dishes and laundry (Even though I should be going to bed!),,,

I hope everyone as a WONDERFUL FRIDAY!

Halloween #4!

It's hard to believe that this will be Bryce's 4th Halloween!  Her first Halloween she was a monkey.  She wasn't too happy wearing her costume, but she sure was cute!

First Halloween, 4 months old

The next Halloween, Bryce was a lion.  She did much better in the costume and ate her first Halloween candy.  We took Bryce and her cousin, Alajiah to Night of the Living Zoo.  It was cold, but we all had fun!

16 months

Bryce's Halloween as a 2 year old was the best so far!  We got to do so many activities!  For one, she was actually walking....we didn't have a walker until 18 months! :)  Bryce was our little ladybug. 

2 years old

I'm so excited for her 4th Halloween and to see her in her 2 costumes!  Yes, I said two.  She just couldn't decide on one!  Stay tuned for pics...... :)

Bryce's new pajamas!

Bryce has been obsessed with princesses lately!  Her favorite movie is Beauty and the Beast and she is going to Belle for Halloween. 

Kyle took B to Wal-Mart last Friday to get some new socks and sweats and she ended up coming home with a new nightgown with Princesses on it!  She carried it everywhere that day and even slept with it (instead of wearing it!).  :)

That night we ran to Target to get a few things and since she had been good at Applebee's before she got to get a toy.  She chose more pajamas instead! :) I actually got her to put them on before bedtime today.  Isn't she cute? :)

Prairie Fire Marathon

I ran my first marathon on October 9.  I was super excited but nervous that I wouldn't be able to run the whole thing.  My training went good and I was hoping the run would go just as good.  I found out the Thursday before that I was going to have to have surgery to remove a cyst on my right ovary.  This was scarier than the marathon to me!  My surgery was scheduled for the Thursday after the marathon.  I asked the dr if the cysts could have been caused from all my running, but he said no.  He said that there could be pain running due to them because it was like a ball bouncing around in there.  I hadn't had any real pain yet. 

The day of the marathon, I woke up ready to go!  When the race started, I knew I didn't feel right.  Aftet mile 3, my stomach was killing me and I was hoping I was just hungry so I ate some GU and kept going.  I ran probably faster than I should of just to get done faster and hoped the pain would go away.  By mile 10, I had to start walking a little in between running just to help my stomach.  I was so bummed.  I trained so hard for this and now I couldn't even run 13 miles (a half marathon) without walking.  I did finish even though I was in so much stomach pain.  My time was 5 hours and 7 minutes.  I am proud of myself for finishing, but I'm ready for the next one to redeem myself! 

I'm starting to think that the pain was caused by the cysts because after my surgery I had pain in the same area of my stomach.  I chalk it all down to bad timing!

FALL is here!

Fall is probably my favorite time of year... Pumpkin spice, pumpkins, apples and Halloween!  Kyle was in Colorado at a Beer Brewing conference, so it was a mother-daughter weekend.  After working out at Strollers in Motion, we decided to head to the pumpkin patch.  This was Pumpkin Patch trip #1!  We went to Cox's Farm and had a blast.  We rode the hay ride to the pumpkin patch and I got to watch Bryce choose the perfect "yittle" pumpkin.  She was so cute!  After finding the perfect pumpkin, we went and fed the goats, llama and sheep.  Bryce wasn't that excited about this...:)

I love spending time with my little girl and can't wait for the rest of fall to spend it with her!
Upcoming Fall Activities:
Pumpkin Patch with grandma Rogers and cousins
Pumpkin Patch with Jersie, Davin and Cassie (Hopefully!)
Walter's Pumpkin Patch 5K and pumpkin patch with daddy
Bootanica at Botanica
Night of the Living Zoo at Sedgwick County Zoo
Halloween at Cowtown
and more! :)